An important soft skill is the art of being present. You know you are in the here and now when your presence is felt by the people around you. We are not talking about your charisma or aura we are talking about intention, attention and focus. You are here with your mind, heart and body, you are making yourself available. When you are present you can establish contact with others, actually you become noticeable, you exist, and you have a legitimate place, people take you seriously.
The practice for presence is grounding and alignment. Grounding is in your posture, you have to imagine you are the link between earth and sky. Stand tall or sit upright with dignity, hold your space, hold your ground. Alignment is becoming congruent in what you believe, think, feel and do. You are aligning your mind, heart and body. What you say and the way you say it are reinforcing your message and making a statement about who you are and where you stand.
Attending is being there with all your senses in order to have a good grasp of the situation and frame it in a way that enables you to notice (the dynamics of the situation), see (what is emerging) and hear (understand others and the situation beneath the surface). If you are distracted, absent minded or in an inappropriate emotional tone your take on the situation will be poor, your thinking and analysis will be equally weak and subsequent decision making sub optimal.
The six 6 steps for being present, establishing contact and communicating are:
1- Understand the mood and emotion you are in
Is this emotion right for what I want to do?
What would be a conductive emotion?
2- Condition yourself into the appropriate emotion
By remembering a situation that puts you in this mood
3- Set your intention
4- Focus on this intention and center yourself (align, thoughts, body posture with the
emotion and the intention).
5- Establish contact with the other person
6- Synchronize with the other person and communicate.